Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

This was used as the basis for "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats".  Andrew Lloyd Webber sings it on disc 5 of his Now and Forever compilation and snippets of it can be heard on the Ultimate Edition CATS DVD.

I was lunching one day at the Princess Louise when I passed some remark to a man in white spats
Who had ordered a plate of fried gammon and peas, so we soon fell to talking of thises and thats
Such as Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

I have been, he confided, a jack-of-all-trades, a true rolling stone that has gathered no moss
I have seen much of life in its various shades and the fat and the lean and the profit and loss
I have done everything and I've been everywhere, I'm at present an agent for small, furnished flats
But the one thing that's made life worthwhile, I declare, is Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Now my sister, for instance, who lives in the hills that lie on the border of Shropshire and Wales
In a comfortable house where her husband fulfils his vocation of retail purveyor of ales
She says, and for me I've no reason to doubt her opinion repeated in dozens of chats,
She says there is one thing she can't do without and that's Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Uh-huh

And my brother, for instance, who lives in the plains that lie on the border of Surrey and Kent
In a house newly-built and with adequate drains, you would be quite surprised to know how much he's spent
On that house, he has actually had to employ two men snaring rabbits and two catching rats
He says there is nothing that he can enjoy like Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Now my sister, of whom I have told you before, is musically gifted, can sing like a bird
She can learn any tune and can read any score, she can sing any song that you ever have heard
I have never known anyone who had such an ear and she never goes wrong on the sharps or the flats
She says there are no voices so pleasant to hear as of Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs

And my brother, of whom you have just heard me speak, is a talented artist, I mean amateur
He only has time at the end of the week, but his portraits have made a considerable stir
He can draw like Italians or Frenchmen or Dutch, but prefers to draw people with whiskers and hats
And he says there's no subject that suits him so much as Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats

Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats
Pollicle Dogs

"Well", I said, very quickly, "that's quite understood, so now let me order a small glass of Port
It will set your tongue wagging and do your heart good, any Port in a storm as a final resort
Besides, there's a question I now wish to put, though I know what is what and I know that is that
What you've said is exceedingly curious, but what's a Pollicle Dog and a Jellicle Cat?"

Well, at that he turned round with a look of surprise, as much as to say well, now, how about that!
Do I actually see with my own very eyes a man who's not heard of a Jellicle Cat?
And a man who's not heard of a Pollicle Dog?
Can't know enough even to fall off a log

"Well", he said, "at the worst there is hope for you yet
It was exceedingly lucky for you that we met
If you do not object to my talking in verse?"

"Not at all," I replied, "I enjoy it of all things
It's a good way to put either large things or small things
There's nothing like poetry for real monologues"
So with that he began about Pollicle Dogs.